paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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