he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
