you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
