I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize