had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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