you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
