i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
did you just send me my own nude
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize