that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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