In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
