This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
