After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
