so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
