when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
