I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
