Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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