We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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