It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
