what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
