I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
