I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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