I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
