The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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