U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
