So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
