Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
