The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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