Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
