i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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