last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
