Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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