Where is the hickey?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
