I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
