so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
