i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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