If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
