I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I currently don't understand fingers.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
