you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
