This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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