I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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