Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
