My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
