How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
