you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
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I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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