I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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