If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
