it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
