Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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