Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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