eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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