i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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