you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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