Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
