So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
