I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
