It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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