but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He has the fingertips of a God
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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