You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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