I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
