I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
