I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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