ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize